Tuesday, May 10, 2011

甲之蜜糖 乙之砒霜

四姐妹,分别在不同的地方,南马,中马,北马。
妈咪有事,全靠大姐一人奔波劳碌。

妈咪骨头发炎,形成骨刺,影响神经线,造成行走艰难。
医生建议开刀,一劳永逸解决问题。
大姐赞成,因为不要妈咪再受痛苦。
二姐不赞成开刀,因为妈咪对麻醉药很敏感。她建议让妈咪到槟城接受一名口碑很好的骨科医生再检查,通常看这医生的都不必挨刀。而且她是家庭主妇,时间比较容易安排,二来可以让妈咪有充足的休息(因为妈咪在家,就算不舒服也会忍不住的东摸西摸)。
我,最没用,拿不定主义。
开刀,我害怕所涉及的风险。
上槟城,我担心路途遥远,而且妈咪不习惯长期住在二姐家。
我建议在吉隆坡再看令一个医生,索取第二意见,但,问题是家人因为健康不允许我一个人长途跋涉travel。如果这样,又要麻烦大姐了。。。
妹妹年纪最小,刚开始做工,只能依着姐姐的意见。

妈咪是传统的妇女,接受不了自己健康因年老出状况,常埋怨责怪自己。

上阵子,她脚痛得跟了表哥到一个所谓铁打医生那儿,两支脚及背被那所谓师父用皮鞭,手掌,藤条打得满脚满背淤血一块块,看了令人心疼。
今天,妈咪又跟表姐夫去推拿,希望自己不用做手术。
我能做的,只是通过电话劝妈咪,要听话,要休息,不要再做家务,不要乱乱给人推拿,我害怕伤口会变本加厉。

整天,我都再想,我们一直想要让妈咪得到最好的,但,妈咪要的呢?是什么?我应该很自以为是的阻止她去推拿吗?

放工回家,第一时间打给妈,妈咪自己也很混乱,太多的意见,很多人都给她动手术的负面意见。这时候,妈咪突然问我:“你觉得怎样?我应该动手术吗? ”我 哑口无言。老公在旁边(我开着speaker phone),示意我要给妈咪一个坚定的意见,让她好过,示意我鼓励妈咪动手术。我硬着头皮告诉妈咪:“对,你应该动手术。”
我答了,头皮发麻,不知所措。妈咪听了,一阵静默。

放下电话,心忐忑不安。

家公对我说过,妈咪健康的问题,四姐妹一定要一起做决定。

晚上,再打给两个姐姐,商量,现在,心比较稳定了,至少几姐妹终于达成了共识,下一步要怎么走。

这几天,也要感谢老公的许多宝贵意见,感谢他可以一直支持我,也很有耐心的帮忙劝妈咪,分析妈咪情况给她听,开解她;他,也尽量与姐姐们沟通,帮忙了解姐妹们的问题及关注的地方,让举棋不定的我,看到大方向及种种方法的利弊。

希望早日雨过天晴。

5 comments:

  1. prince n princess mum,谢谢关心。昨天终于让妈上槟城再索取第二意见。今天妈看了医生,蛮满意的。

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  2. Prince n Princess mum,谢谢关心,妈咪已经去槟城接受治疗了!=)

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  3. Wai Si,
    My mom was diagnosed with bone spurs in March this year. She also suffered great pain till admitted hosp for 3 days. That point of time, we received alot of feedback about the pros and cons about operation method.
    We were also quite confused what do best for my mom. She also depends on our decision.
    So finally we told her that how about we tried other method for say 2 or 3 mths, if there is no sign of improvement, then we might need to consider operation.

    We are happy that after we tried phisio for 1 mth and at the same time with enuf rest, less heavy work load, and also medication, my mom is now back to her normal self.

    She still complaint a little numbness on her leg but is much better as compared before. She is now also doing the acupuncture. And it seems worked on her too.

    As for your mom's condition, maybe you all can give her some time in trying other method before going for surgical.
    Hope your mom speedy recovery.

    P/S: Oh yea, I have three sisters too. I am the 3rd.

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  4. Sarah' mummy, i am the 3rd in family also..=) We just follow my mum's wish. Initially, when the second opinion from the doc in penang mentioned that her condition is quite serious and should do the operation, we nearly decide to proceed with it. But, mum want to try to heal with the medicine first and ask us to give her about 2 weeks times. After 2 weeks, the doc advised that mum's condition has improved ab 40% and advise that operation is no longer required. I really salute mum's determination.

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